Satanic Panic

We’ve all heard the urban legends of the neighborhood kid whose mom wouldn’t let them play Magic: The Gathering in the ’90s due to its Satanic symbolism or who was only allowed to play the white humans and angels decks. Fortunately, I wasn’t that kid because my mom let me discover what I liked no matter how much she hated taking me to Hot Topic for back-to-school clothes. But if my stepmother had her way, the only cards I touched would’ve been anything reflecting the church (We didn’t necessarily see eye to eye during my adolescence).

Now, I know it’s going to be hard to believe that I was a gothic kid growing up… but I thrived during the Satanic Panic of the 90s into the early 2000s. Let me paint the picture. My dresser and floor were riddled with Spawn, Blade, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer comics. I played the Metallica Black Album cassette tape so many times it wore out, and under my bed next to the blacklight that gave my bed a sick purple under-glow. It was a Vans shoebox filled with Magic: The Gathering cards. The decks I played were mostly held together by rubber bands. To say the least, I was living my 90’s kid dream.

So, when Shawn Sullivan dropped the Emerald City Troll’s “Satanic Panic.” Teaser video for the event, I almost broke the PayPal land speed record with how fast I sent the funds to secure my spot. A few months before the event, the Beasts of the Bay Old School club and I went in on an Airbnb together. We coordinated our flights, booked rental cars, ordered swag, and I was boarding a flight to Seattle before I knew it. The flight from Las Vegas to Seattle is quick, even quicker when you have something to do. So, I downloaded The Beekeeper (I highly recommend it for a good action flick with an original storyline). I relaxed with my favorite flight beverage, ginger ale (My housemates would make fun of me for this drink of choice later that day).

Once on the ground, I linked up with Kent Hays from the Beasts, and we ventured off to a bar to kill some time while we waited to check into our Airbnb. The first place we stopped was the Star Brass Works Lounge for a couple of beers, lunch, and MTG. Since we had yet to play with the Satanic Panic rule set (Posted below), we decided it was best to get some games with the decks we built for it. Leading up to the event, the go-to deck would obviously be an Underworld Dreams/Winds of Change variant.

While I figured that would win, I wanted to build a deck that exploited its weakness in this event and have some fun. I brewed up Reverse Monolith. The strategy was simple: I would gain infinite life instead of dealing with endless damage. Because the sin Sloth granted your opponent Hexproof if they didn’t cast spells on their turn, I would deal damage using Dragon Engines. Kent was playing Fastbond variant and blew me out in game one, but once I knew his strategy, I could play around with his tech. And beat Kent in game two. Before we could play the third game, the hot water line to the bar blew, so they had to close it.

The waitress informed us that next door was another bar, Seattle Tavern, and Pool Room, owned by the same guy. Kent and I walked into the tavern, and I saw the beautiful glow of a room full of pinball machines. We still had an hour, so I cashed in a 20, and with our pockets full of quarters, we played The Greats, Jurassic Park, Godzilla, Adams Family, Attack from Mars, and many more. Once we burned through our quarters, it was time to head to the Airbnb and wait for the rest of the group to arrive.

The rest of the group arrived a couple hours behind us, and we took a quick trip to the grocery store to stock the house up on food and drinks for the weekend. Getting in a day early meant I had time to tune my deck for the special event. I still wasn’t 100% sold on going “Full Evil” yet. But after playtesting a handful of games and seeing how powerful starting the game with a Swamp in play and being able to tap Swamps for any color was, I changed out all my duals for a stack of beautiful Dan Frazier signed Beta Swamps loaned to me by Stephen Hines.

The one-time special event was held at Kell’s Irish Pub. There was metal music blaring, special drinks, and Mari dressed as a priest. Running full evil meant you started at 8 life, but with the ability of the sin Pride, all your spells have flash back. So, the possibility of gaining life with three Stream of Life and three Alabaster Potions in the mainboard made the starting life total a non-issue. Alabaster Potion was fixed by running Gluttony, making the instant speed double white x casting cost spell pure gas against aggressive decks. And drawing an additional card off Greed made assembling the Power Monolith combo more consistent. The other sins were utilized occasionally in my deck, but including them was primarily to unlock the Full Evil perk.

Each Round you won, you obtained a relic, and once you collected one of the 7 relics, you summoned the demon to win the tournament. There was a catch, though, if the opponent you beat had obtained a relic, you could also steal one of theirs. Any duplicates you had could be traded in once a round for a random relic to further your goal of demonic summoning.

My round one Opponent was Andrew Juke from the Sisters of Flame, and as I predicted, Dreams would saturate the field with the ability to pull off a turn-one kill. In our first game, I played Swamp; Mox Sapphire cast Time Walk, and with the Flashback ability, cast Time Walk again into Mind Twist for seven of a Black Lotus. After my third turn, Andrew was able to start playing. Still, myself, being three lands ahead and Andrew’s hand nonexistent, gave me the ability to assemble Power Monolith and cast Stream of Life for one hundred billion life two turns later. Game two was much of the same, but instead, I was dealing damage with Dragon Engines. I won 2-0.

Round two was against a Magic player I hold in high regard, Charlie Peterson from the Beasts of the Bay. If you’ve never played Charlie, he’s a tremendously skilled and calculated player. Charlie was playing UW Mono Black Stasis, and our games were very back-and-forth. I won 2-0.

After round two, the field was starting to develop a pattern. Full Evil decks had a clear advantage, and the top 8 tables pooled more toward an Underworld Dreams combo table. I was paired against Tristan Bates from the Geo Cities of Brass in Round Three. Tristan and I started with our Swamps in play, and before I could get my first turn, Tristan dropped double Underworld Dreams. Game one was quick, and game two would be similar as Tristan resolved Double Dreams on board again and followed it up with Wheel of Fortune, dealing 14 damage. I lost 0-2.

In the fourth and final Round, I was paired against my brother from another mother, Nick Aiello, who hails from the Deep Spawners. City of Angels? Who was also a Full Evil Dreams combo. In game one, Nick cast a turn one, Underworld Dreams, and I could use Chaos Orb on my first turn in return after taking a couple points of damage. Ultimately, Nick would win game one with Lightning Bolt and Flash it back for the kill. Game two was an all-out war. I brought 4 Disenchants from the Sideboard and zeroed in on Underworld Dreams. Our game came close to one of us decking, and Nick, having most of his deck out in play, eventually gave him the long-term edge as I couldn’t keep a Basalt Monolith on the board for long enough to complete the combo and gain infinite life. I lost 0-2.

Flint Espil collected all seven individual relics first and claimed victory by playing the Full Evil Underworld Dreams combo. It was a collective win for our Airbnb house, so we took the party back to the house after the event.

The following day was the 93/94 main event, held at The Pine Box an old funeral home turned into a bar that claims to be haunted. I decided for this event to play the UR Counter Burn deck I played at War of the Roses II just a month earlier. I made a few minor adjustments to this version (List posted below). As always, The Emerald City Trolls brought out all the artists they could rally from the greater Pacific Northwest. This year’s event included Mark Tedin, Drew Tucker, Jesper Myrfors, Brian Snoddy, and Margaret Organ-Kean, and this was perfect because Drew Tucker and I could handle some business for a project in 2025 (Hint hint). A killer playlist of music was provided by my Shawn’s Pandora playlist

In Round One, I was paired against Adam Pazan, who was spicing it up with a deck he called Ticking Time Bomb. Adam opened with Ivory Tower, which I quickly Shattered due to not wanting to deal with it. On my following turns, Adam was on the defensive with a Maze of Ith fighting off two Mishra’s Factories and a Serendib. I got Adam’s life low enough to cast Wheel of Fortune, ripping two Chain Lightnings off the top to finish him. In game two, I cast two Ironclaw Orcs, on turn one off a Black lotus and Mishra’s Factory, and on turn two, I played a second land and went in for six damages. Adam could play another Maze of Ith, so I waited for him to play a creature with the Maze and followed up on the second main phase with Time Walk to get the Win. I won 2-0.

Round Two was against the host of Camjam and War of the Roses, Cam Wal. Cam opened with Land, Mana Vault, Lotus into Trike and then stated, “If you kill this, I’m going to Aggressively concede.” And passed turn. I play Volcanic Island, Mox Ruby into Lightning Bolt and Chain Lightning. We went to game two… game two was almost a repeat. Cam opened with Land, Mana vault, and passed. I played Library of Alexandra and passed the turn. On Cam’s second turn, he cast Copy Artifact, targeting Mana Vault, tapping the original and the copy to cast Trike. I tapped my Library of Alexandra and pulled a Volcanic Island, and on my draw, step pulled a Shatter to kill his Trike. Cam looked at his hand and conceded. I won 2-0.

It happened again. The rest of my notes are missing from my notebook (There’s a chance I drank too much and just didn’t write them). I think I will look into an iPad to record these games and have a larger screen for movies on my flights.

Overall, the Satanic Panic was an amazing weekend, and Shawn Sullivan knows how to run an event. I can’t wait to see what he has planned for next year. Speaking of events, I took the lead for the Sin City’s Fallen Angels event “the Sin City Open 2025” this year, and tickets go on sale next week on July 18!